Friday, May 3, 2013

MAKE A FEW, HELPFUL BOLD MOVES by Kim Shockley



In this chapter, Paul mentions the work of Ed Friedman in his final book – The Failure of Nerve.  I have been slowly digesting this work, one chapter at a time, for a couple of months.  The insight I’ve gleaned from this reading is that the thing that stops us from making bold moves is usually the state of a chronically anxious system.  Remember, we’ve talked a lot about how fear gets in the way of our faithfulness, so Friedman helps us to recognize fear within congregations and family systems.

He lists four behaviors and one outcome of a chronically anxious system*:

1.      Reactivity – almost like a feeding frenzy of intense emotional responses to nearly everything.

2.      Herding – staying together is a great need, and it often organizes around dysfunction – playing to the lowest common denominator.

3.      Blame Displacement – makes everything someone else’s fault with a focus on safety rather than adventure.

4.      Quick-Fix Mentality – focuses on simple answers with a low pain threshold.

The outcome is always the failure of nerve among the leaders to take any steps toward change or making those few, helpful bold moves that are necessary to get stuck systems unstuck.
*Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve, The Edwin Friedman Trust, 1999, 2007, p. 91-92.

Questions for consideration:

How does your congregation react to new ideas?
How well to the congregation’s leaders take responsibility for actions and decisions?
Discuss the last time a decision was made that provided a quick fix solution and ignored the elephant in the room?
What role does faithful prayer and Bible study play in how your leadership team makes decisions?


3 comments:

  1. Fear and anxiety certainly paralyze church systems and create resistance to even the most needed change. I've often struggled with how sabotage plays a role, either active or passive. Friedman's insights are very helpful but does he also recommend remedies to reduce anxiety and modify these behaviors to change the outcome?

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  2. I dont know about Friendman's recommendations to lower anxiety. I do believe that trusting relationship (between leader and the group), humor, and spiritual development all can play a role in helping people manage fear of change.

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  3. The non-anxious presence of the leader seems to be the most important thing to ease anxiety - according to Friedman. He also talks a lot about the self-differentiated leader, who leads from a strong sense of self awareness and not get messed up in the anxiety. I call this spiritual authority - when the leader's relationship with God spills over onto the people.

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