HOLD DIFFICULT PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE by Kim Shockley

Wow!  I read through this chapter again before I started writing this blog, only to realize in the months since the original writing how much I have learned about difficult people.  We were right!  But this work is hard!

I mentioned Ed Friedman’s book, A Failure of Nerve, in an earlier blog, about how leaders experience a failure of nerve when they bump up against the emotional baggage of other people.  I just posted a blog on my own site about chronically anxious systems:  http://kimcoach.wordpress.com/.  It might be helpful reading. Leaders can’t lead when they let the bullies, whiners, and controllers rule the day.  So, I’m processing a strategy for how to deal with these folks.

LEGEND ON GRAPEVINE by PAUL NIXON

I was visiting with one of my coaching clients the other day when each of us observed that we have a bit of P.T. Barnum in us.  A bit of shameless promoter.  I get this from my father.  He was a pastor.   He liked to have what he would call 'big days' at the churches he pastored, Sundays when something happened that got the buzz going, got people talking.  Sometimes he would invite a celebrity to church to sing.   He observed that often after a 'big day,' church attendance was permanently higher, maybe 25 or 50 more per week.  In his own way, he was working to create good legend.

MAKE A FEW, HELPFUL BOLD MOVES by Kim Shockley

In this chapter, Paul mentions the work of Ed Friedman in his final book – The Failure of Nerve.  I have been slowly digesting this work, one chapter at a time, for a couple of months.  The insight I’ve gleaned from this reading is that the thing that stops us from making bold moves is usually the state of a chronically anxious system.  Remember, we’ve talked a lot about how fear gets in the way of our faithfulness, so Friedman helps us to recognize fear within congregations and family systems.