HOLD DIFFICULT PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE by Kim Shockley

Wow!  I read through this chapter again before I started writing this blog, only to realize in the months since the original writing how much I have learned about difficult people.  We were right!  But this work is hard!

I mentioned Ed Friedman’s book, A Failure of Nerve, in an earlier blog, about how leaders experience a failure of nerve when they bump up against the emotional baggage of other people.  I just posted a blog on my own site about chronically anxious systems:  http://kimcoach.wordpress.com/.  It might be helpful reading. Leaders can’t lead when they let the bullies, whiners, and controllers rule the day.  So, I’m processing a strategy for how to deal with these folks.

LEGEND ON GRAPEVINE by PAUL NIXON

I was visiting with one of my coaching clients the other day when each of us observed that we have a bit of P.T. Barnum in us.  A bit of shameless promoter.  I get this from my father.  He was a pastor.   He liked to have what he would call 'big days' at the churches he pastored, Sundays when something happened that got the buzz going, got people talking.  Sometimes he would invite a celebrity to church to sing.   He observed that often after a 'big day,' church attendance was permanently higher, maybe 25 or 50 more per week.  In his own way, he was working to create good legend.

MAKE A FEW, HELPFUL BOLD MOVES by Kim Shockley

In this chapter, Paul mentions the work of Ed Friedman in his final book – The Failure of Nerve.  I have been slowly digesting this work, one chapter at a time, for a couple of months.  The insight I’ve gleaned from this reading is that the thing that stops us from making bold moves is usually the state of a chronically anxious system.  Remember, we’ve talked a lot about how fear gets in the way of our faithfulness, so Friedman helps us to recognize fear within congregations and family systems.

BRIGHT EYED PEOPLE by Paul Nixon

The metaphor of bright-eyed people originated in my third book, I Refuse to Lead a Dying Church, published six years ago.  Now in three successive titles, I have referenced it to one degree or another - and I it is on my mind as I write a new book this year.  So I guess you could say I find this concept pretty integral to the subject of church renewal.  What ever else Jesus was looking for 2000 years ago as he collected his disciples, he was certainly looking for people who sparkled at the suggestion and possibilities of the Kingdom.  They sparkled, and they dared.  They went for it.  

URGENCY by Kim Shockley

In a coaching conversation this week with a pastor who is currently reading The Surprise Factor he told me of his initial reaction – the surprise is the place where God intersects with what is unfolding!  It was very gratifying to know that people are catching on to what this book is all about.  I think the key to surprise is training oneself to look for God’s surprises in the midst of the day.  When we look for them, they really are there!

LOVE ONE'S COMMUNITY by Paul Nixon

As I reflect on my love for my community, in terms of the physical gathering of human beings that live within five miles of my house, it makes me homesick.  As I write this, I am almost 8000 miles from home, as the bird flies.  I do not live in a perfect place - far from it - in fact there are aspects of the city I call home that are just detestable - but it is a place that I have embraced nonetheless.  It is home.  Across the years, I have lived in ten cities.  Of the ten, I fell in love with all but one.  Ironically I was sent to the one as a United Methodist pastor, and it was about the worst job I ever did trying to pastor anybody or anything.  

LOVE ONE ANOTHER By Kim Shockley

I know, I know - Love One Another sounds so “churchy” – why did we use this as a chapter title?  Well because, it is the central message of the Gospels!  We worked hard with this chapter to make sure that it got to the heart of Jesus’ message of love - that it is much harder than being “nice” to one another.  Being “nice” has that fake feel to it, that veneer that covers over my real thoughts and feelings in order not to upset the applecart or rock the boat.  Jesus’ call to love one another has a deeper, richer meaning that moves us to helping other people find the best within themselves and hold them accountable to living as Jesus’ taught.